Jaune's bizarre realities
by Golden Gangstar
Summary: Welcome to the tomfuckery that is Jaune's Bizarre Realities, where we get to explore the more obscure universes that other Multiversal Jaune fics don't bother to do for some reason, but I'm not alone, today I have a guest working with me, It'z Syndrome. He's cool guy to hang out with, check him out. Now, go read the story.
1. Prologue

_**Jaune's Bizarre Realities**_

 **AN: Well here's another fanfic that I may or may not drop after i'm bored… Kidding, anyways joining me on this little Journey of mine is… It'z Syndrome!**

 **Syn: HELLO FRIENDS, I AM HERE!**

 **DX: This glorious bastard agreed to help me write the story, I write the the chapters, he writes the reactions.**

 **Syn: You hear that, I write reactions, it's a thing I do. Among other things. Anywho, I came here because this guy over here said that he needed some help, and I thought to myself, "Hey, I've got some spare time, and I'm bored." So here I am, take it away DX.**

 **DX: Well now that I have control all I have to say is, enjoy this stupid prologue… Oh and we don't own RWBY or JoJo's bizarre adventure, if we did we would abuse our power with stands and shit.**

 **Syn: STANDU POWAR!**

* * *

It had been a normal day at Beacon Academy, classes were going as normal, people were rather happy, and the sun was out, shining brightly. Currently, team RWBY along with team JNPR was in their dust class, working on a project that was given to them at the beginning of the week.

For the past few days, team RWBY and JNPR had been working together to complete their projects, swapping notes and giving one another a hand when needed. So far, both teams had been succeeding when it came to their projects, team RWBY had decided to see if they could come up with a new Dust type mixing certain dusts together, and since Weiss was the only person among both teams that had the most experience with dust, that was left to her.

Yet, today was different from the rest of the school week, for everytime that Weiss had been mixing dust, a certain blonde swordsman would always try to capture her attention, hell, one of the days that he showed up, he had brought her a rose, he's trying really hard.

But today, he had been rather quiet, as he sat in his seat he seemed uncomfortable, his brows furrowed, his feet crossed, and he was gripping the table so hard that his knuckles turned white. That hadn't escaped Weiss' thoughts, nor the rest of their friends'.

As she continued to mix the dust that was on the table in front of her, she noticed the 'blonde dunce' raise his hand as he bit his lip. He spoke, "Professor, may I please use the restroom?" Really, he had to go take a leak? So dramatic…

Luckily for the Blonde, the Professor gave him permission to go, so with the speed of a bullet he sprinted out of the classroom and rushed his way into the men's bathroom… Pretty sure he went faster than Ruby when she uses her Semblance…

While that was happening, Ruby had used her semblance to speed over next to Weiss, and she screamed into her ear, "Hey Weiss, are you almost done with mixing the dust?" She said as she bumped into her, however, Weiss was surprised by the gothic loli and ended up spilling the dust and it all began to mix.

Weiss had felt this twitching in her nose, it stung, it's almost like she… oh no. She took a deep breath, trying to make sure that she didn't cause an incident, but she couldn't stop herself. "Ah… ah… achoo!" And with that, she let out a sneeze that made the foundations of the school shake, no seriously, the foundation shook. With that sneeze, Weiss and the people around her exploded, and they all felt their grasp of reality fade, well damn.

* * *

In a dark room lay the unconscious forms of team RWBY and NPR, all of them lay on a carpeted floor, the carpet's color is baby blue in case you were wondering. The room itself is rather messy, clothing litters the floor and there is an open guitar case on the bed, but the guitar is nowhere to be seen.

The guitar case was not the only thing that sat atop the bed, for there was also small plastic bags of chips and notebooks as well as some shirts, point is, it's pretty damn dirty. Someone needs to pick up around here, and it sure as hell ain't gonna be the unconscious guys laying on the floor.

 **POV change**

I let out a sigh as I take a seat in my black leather executive chair and I place my hand against the side of my head, "What the hell are we gonna do with our new _guests_?" I ask my roommate, this is gonna end up being a pain in our asses, isn't it?

"How the hell should I know, our job is to watch multiverse not… Whatever _that_ was." I hear my colleague say, and they're right, we're making sure the multiverse doesn't get fucked up, not babysitting.

I let out a groan as I drag my hand down my face, "Well, whatever the fuck they did fucked up the multiverse so badly that it created a tear in their reality, so now we're stuck babysitting them until we can fix said tear and put them back. But now that begs the question, what the hell do we do with them?" I ask, it's not like we can plop them in front of a t.v and say, 'there you go'.

"Hmm… How about we ask _her_? I mean she has more experience than us when it comes to this job." I hear my friend say, and I feel a shiver crawl up my back, now I really don't mind letting _her_ do the babysitting, but I can't help but think that she will tear my asscheeks off if I ask.

I let out a shaky breath as I place my hand back on the side of my head, "What you want us to do is really dangerous, you know that right?" I ask, I just can't help but feel that _she_ would tear my life a-fucking-sunder.

"… Now that I think about it, yeah we're gonna get our asses kicked… But remember _the stash_ we hid? Yeah i'm not going through that shit again _,_ seriously! I'm pretty sure my arm wasn't supposed to bend that way!" I hear my compatriot say, I still have the scars from that day, those were dark times.

"Well what do you suggest we do, take care of them ourselves?" I ask, I mean, it's not like I don't have free time or anything, I'd just rather not deal with a bunch of naive people who think the world is all sunshine and rainbows.

"That is true…. The naive ones are usually the most annoying ones, but we really don't have any options left, so we'll have to suck it up and ask _her_ for help… But we should wake these guys up first." I hear my roommate say, do we have to wake them up? We could just throw them out, they wouldn't even know they were here.

I let out a sigh, no matter how much I may want to throw them out, my conscious is telling me to not be a dick, and that doesn't happen often, so that means something's up, "Fine, we'll ask the little she-devil for help, the only question left is what we need her help with. Should we have her fix the tears in space and time first, or should we have her babysit them?" I ask, please say the second one, please say the second one, please say the second one.

"Hmm… Considering the damage the tear caused it's going to take some time to repair, even with her powers… So let's just dump these guys and leave the babysitting to her!" Oh thank fuck, and here I thought I was gonna have to do more babysitting than I needed to, dealing with siblings is enough as it is.

"Alright, now let's go wake those fuckers up, I'm tired of them sleeping on our floor and frankly, it's unhygienic. Not for them though, for us, the last thing I need is them stinking up the floor." I say, now I'm not sure if they actually stink, but they sure did piss me off, they have really fucked us over this time.

"Cool… So do we poke them or… Do we kick them?"

I let a smirk make its way onto my face, "I've got a better idea..."

* * *

 **POV Change - DX**

Honestly, when my buddy Syn let out that smirk I was worried for the small group on the floor but I gotta admit, this is very therapeutic. "Hehehe, this is gonna be great!" He said with the most sadistic grin i've seen him with since… Ever, you may be wondering, what the hell are we doing to these innocent souls, well…

"You got the bucket ready?" He asked me, I simply nodded and gave him the bucket filled with Ice water, I made a quick prayer and watched.

I watched Syn slowly stalk towards the unconscious people on the floor, and just as he got close enough, "Surprise fuckers!" I heard him say as he made the liquid that was once in the bucket soar through the air and land among the sleeping figures.

Got to admit, these people have really healthy lungs if they can scream that loudly, oh look they're all flopping around like fish! Crap I wish I had my phone with me. Eh whatever i'll just save it in the deepest parts of my memories.

"Rise and shine fuckheads, you've got some introducing to do." Syn said as the group of teens looked around wildly until they finally noticed us. Laughing our asses off, and they don't seem too pleased.

* * *

 **POV Change - That one bastard Syn**

Oh, you have no idea how satisfying that was, the ability to just shit all over the people who made my life, and by association, DX's life more difficult because we have to clean up the mess that they had made, seriously, I don't understand how some people can do this job and deal with stuff like this.

As for all the people who were once sleeping, they are now fully awake and drench from head to toe in water, you know, I didn't think about this before, but are we going to have to supply them with clothes? "Hey DX, do we have to supply them with clothes, or should we just do the thing?" I ask my roommate.

"I'm not sharing my fabulous cloaks with them, so do the thing." I hear him say, why did I know he would bring up the cloaks? I let out a sigh as I reach behind me and pull out a small notebook and pencil. I then proceed to write in said notebook, and viola, their clothes are now dry and their expressions are just priceless.

"Where am I?! Who are you?! Whose legs do I have to break?! And where. Are. My. PANCAKES?!" I hear the orange haired one say, great, not only are they naive but they're fucking crazy. And I'm genuinely surprised that they didn't ask about the notebook thing.

I let out a sigh for what must be the tenth time today, this is just gonna be a pain in my ass, isn't it? "Alright, as for your first question, you're in the warp, a place you have no right to be in. As for who I am, DX literally just said my name, pay attention. And as for the whole leg breaking thing, well you can go ahead and cut that shit out, 'cause you ain't touching shit. As for pancakes, that costs money, and I don't feel like paying someone for pancakes. Anymore questions before I go and contemplate suicide?" I ask, if someone asks another stupid question, we aren't gonna have to worry about taking care of them.

I notice one of them raise their hand, she can't be legal, there's just no way. "Uh yeah, why are we here though?" I hear her ask, her silver eyes gleaming with curiosity, huh, I honestly thought that she would be a lot more scared than that. Most people are.

I feel a smirk take its rightful place on my face, "Well little red, you and your friends fucked with the multiverse, so she spat you out and brought you to us. Unfortunately, that means that we have to fix whatever you did _and_ take care of you, thanks for that by the way." I say, I may not sound like it, but I'm fucking fuming. I haven't felt this kind of rage since the little she-devil ate the last of the chocolate, and I was saving those too. Fucking cunt.

"Is there any way to get back to our own… Um, universe?" I hear the mulan look-alike ask, and she has a surprisingly masculine voice… wait, is that a dude? Huh, maybe, I dunno, let's just say it's a dude for the sake of being safe.

Ignoring the fact that dude looks like a lady, I let out a snicker, "Sorry man, but your friends fucked up so bad that they created a tear in reality, so the multiverse did what it could to stop your universe from collapsing and did what it could, your universe is currently in stasis and will stay that way until we fix this tear in reality." I explain, the fabric of reality is very fragile, believe it or not, one fuck up and you'll create a black hole that'll destroy a whole multiverse.

And with that, the entire group begins to stare at little red and her friend in white, oh, so it was them? Tsk tsk tsk, you fucked up kiddies. I quirk a brow towards the two suspects, "Let me guess, 'it was an accident'?" I ask sarcastically.

I see the one in red shuffle a little, probably nerves or something, meanwhile, the one in white seems a little mad, oh boo hoo, I tore reality in my universe apart and now I'm getting blamed for it, life is so unfair, cry me a river.

"Wait… Where's Jaune?" I hear the other redhead ask, the one who is currently showing a lot more skin, also, where's who now? If I can't find Waldo, what makes you think I can find this Jaune fella?

I shrug my shoulders indifferently, "I don't fucking know, and honestly, I don't care all that much either because frankly, I have a multiverse that needs some serious un-fucking. Now then, could you guys properly introduce yourselves before I have a goddamn aneurysm?" I ask impatiently, the only reason I showed up was to wake them up and get names, I don't want to stay here talking to idiots for longer than I have to, I've got work to do.

I see little Red flinch slightly at my words, but manages to put on a smile, don't smile, it makes it harder to be mad at you, "Right, well this my team," She said as she pointed to the white haired girl, "That's Weiss, otherwise known as Ice Queen." She said, to which Weiss rolled her eyes.

"A pleasure." I hear her say sarcastically, hey, you don't want to use sarcasm around me, I eat that shit for breakfast.

She then points to the black haired girl with the bow on her head, "That's Blake, she's kind of a bookworm." I hear little Red say, and that Blake chick doesn't seem too happy about how her main characteristic is 'bookworm'. And did her bow just fall flat?

"Nice to meet you." I hear her say, although it's pretty easy to tell that she forced herself to say that, oh well, it's not like I care. Although, I'm kind of confused as for why her bow seems to have a mind of its own, oh well.

* * *

 **POV change - DX**

I could only sigh at Syn's attitude towards the group of strangers, but I really don't blame him for it, then again i'm the calmer one of the group…

"Sorry for my friends' rude behavior he's just in a bad mood today" I bowed apologetically to the group of idi- Er I mean people, yes people.

"Well, I'm not sorry, you've got some nerve to show up here and act like you did no wrong, but I'll admit that I might have been a bit harsh, but I won't apologize." Syn said as he crossed his arms and looked at me expectantly, guess he wants me to talk now.

"As harsh as it sounds, what he's saying is true, messing with reality unintentionally or not is very dangerous for everyone, we don't know who you are but we know where you came from, and all I have to say is, you're lucky the multiverse didn't collapse on itself." I said in a stern voice, never thought that I would have to talk like this in my life, but I guess there's always a time for everything.

"Anyways, it will take some time for us to fix the mess you created so we'll have someone else take care of you in the meantime." I said trying to hide the hint of fear in voice, I really don't want to ask _her_ for any favors but it's the only option we have right now.

I notice the one with the bow raise their hand, "What do you need Ms. Faunus?" I ask, to which her eyes widen slightly, but she continues on.

"How old are you? You can't be older than us. I find it hard to believe that people people who control the 'multiverse' are younger than us." I hear her say

"You are right about that, we are barely older than little red over there, and do not be mistaken we don't "control" the Multiverse, we simply watch over it and repair any damages done to it, the only ones with the power to control the multiverse is…"

"The writers of the Book of Canon… those guys are pretty cool, although they sure did fuck up every now and again. But your caretaker is not gonna be those guys, they have way more important stuff to be doing, instead… She-devil will watch you." I hear my roommate say.

"Speaking of the she-devil…" I heard the door behind me open violently, smashing into a nearby wall, If I die i'll bring Syn with me.

* * *

 **POV Change - Third Person**

"What the hell are you idiots doing?" Said a rather high pitched voice, this could only end poorly for everyone involved. The appearance of this person seemed expected by the two watchers of the multiverse, however, they didn't seem too happy about it, in fact, they seemed terrified.

While the group of Huntsmen looked on in confusion, the two multiverse watchers stood still in complete silence, they didn't dare make a move even if they wanted too. Standing in front of the door stood a girl who couldn't be taller than 5 foot 1, she had long white hair and wore a violet dress that had black accents, her eyes were violet, the same color as her dress. Most men would consider her beautiful.

However, her attitude… "You two have got some nerve, standing around as if the multiverse isn't tearing itself apart, what did you two idiots do this time?" She said as she crossed her arms tightly and tilted her head up.

One of the two watchers placed their hands up, he was wearing a normal grey t-shirt and basketball shorts. He had curly brown hair, brown eyes, and only a little bit of facial hair. "But it wasn't our fault! If you want to you at someone then yell at them, we were just doing our jobs!" Yelled the one known as Syn, yep, they're boned.

She began to take slow steps towards the two watchers, "Oh I'm completely aware of what they did, what I want to know is why you didn't fix it the second it happened?" She asked in calm tone, however, underneath that calmness was nothing but ice.

"The tear is abnormally big so it'll take time for us it to fix! It's not our fault! Pleasedon'tbeatmeagaini'magoodboy!" The one in the cloak said, how he managed to speak that quickly, no one knows.

Said watcher then curled up into a ball, he had messy black hair, his eyes being the same color as well, glasses adorned his face whether for style or need only he knew, he wore a long white cloak that covered his entire body so it was hard to make out his body type, not that it mattered to him considering he never seemed to gain or lose weight.

The white haired girl let out a sigh, "Do you have any idea how much this is going to set us back, it's going to take months of work to patch that." She said as she face palmed.

She then looks over towards the group of Beacon students, "I'm sorry you guys had to deal with these idiots and their bullshit, mostly Syn's though, he's got a mouth on him and he doesn't know how to turn it off." Said the white haired girl.

"Go fuck yourself Louise, you know just as well that I do that they shouldn't have fucked with the multiverse." Said Syn.

"U-um, I'm not really sure what we did, but I'm sorry." Said one Ruby Rose, and that had certainly shocked the group of watchers. Her apology sounded genuine, those are hard to come by nowadays.

That apology had left Syn speechless, "Uh, yeah alright, well you saying sorry isn't fixing the tear in reality, but, well, it's whatever I guess." Syn looked away from the group, like a male tsundere but he wouldn't admit it to anyone.

"Y-Yeah! It's fine! No harm done!" DX stuttered out, barely coming out of his traumatized state, he wiped his glasses clean with his cloak as he stood up from his curled up form.

Syn then quirked a brow towards DX, but then shrugged and let out a sigh, "Right, well DX and I have some work to be doing, so Louise, sorry to tell you this but uh, you'restuckbabysittingthekidslater!" He said as he grabbed the arm of his roommate and began to run for the door.

"Sorry for the trouble Louise!" Yelled DX, and like that, they were gone and Louise had already felt a headache coming on, " _When I find those two I will make sure that they pay for this"_ She thought to herself.

"I apologize, those two idiots can't seem to go one second without causing trouble… As you heard from them my name is Louise and I guess I'm technically their superior, I take it that they told you what this place is?" Louise asked as she looked at the group with an expectant gaze.

The only blonde among their group nodded her head, a frown on her face, "Yeah, they did, but they didn't have to so rude about it. What's that Syn guy's problem anyway?" Asked Yang, she seemed very displeased.

"Syn is what you would call a 'Male Tsundere' Just give him some time and he'll be less of a dick than before." Louise answered calmly. The term 'male tsundere' managed to make a few brows rise.

To that, Weiss tilted her head to the side in confusion, "Excuse me, but what exactly is a 'tsundere', I've never heard of a term like that?" She asked, of course she's never heard of it.

"Basically, someone who hates you in beginning but in the end they like you." Louise once again answered.

Nora raised her in question, "Yeah uh, I'm bored, what do you guys do for fun around?" She asked in that same bubbly tone that she's known for.

"You'd be surprised at how many of the universe are comedic in nature." Louise had to admit that some of the universes she's watched in the past were pretty hilarious, though she wouldn't admit it to the idiots that she's stuck with.

To that, Nora lets out a gasp and a huge smile makes its way onto her face, "Can we see one of them, please?" She asked, her hands intertwined with one another.

"Usually that would be impossible, but seeing that you lot will be stuck here for a while then it really leaves me no choice, but i'm not the only one chaperoning you brats!" Louise snapped her fingers causing a blue portal to appear in the ceiling, said portal spat out six people, making another pile of people on the ground.

"Ugh, what the hell, one minute I'm out grabbing a drink, the next I'm… wait, what the hell is this?" Said a certain avian fellow.

"Uncle Qrow!" And with yelled out, Ruby sped towards her favorite Uncle so quickly that if a bullet had feelings, it would be jealous.

Out the the entire group that suddenly fell out of the portal, only one of them was able to land on their feet, and with a mug in hand no less, what a legend, "Good evening students, it seems that you've gotten yourselves wrapped up in another adventure. Now then where are we?" Asked the grey haired man, is he in his late 30's or his 50's?

"Your students fucked with the multiverse, and because of that you're all stuck here." She didn't mention that she was the one who brought them in for the sake of babysitting, well except for Raven, that was an accident...

To this, the grey haired man simply quirked his brow towards his students, but still had this calm aura about him. Ruby had let out a bit of an awkward chuckle, "It's a weird story, Headmaster." She said as she scratched the back of her head.

The blonde woman among the adults let out a cough as she picked herself up, "Well students, you'll have plenty of time to tell us about it later." She said rather sternly.

And her students let out a collective, "Yes Ms. Goodwitch!" Those poor students must be brainwashed or something.

"Yeah, what she said, but for now you're going to shut up, sit down, and watch the multiverse, lord knows I could use a break." Said Louise in a commanding tone, to which the Headmaster simply quirked a brow to, but proceeded to sit among his students and staff… and Raven.

However, the two blondes in the room were eerily quiet, seeming to be in shock, "R-Raven?" Asked the male blonde, seeming both shocked and slightly angry.

The black haired woman, now identified as Raven, seemed unfazed by his existence, "Hello Taiyang, you seem to be doing well for yourself, how have you been?" She asked in a bland tone, seeming uninterested in his response.

While it went unnoticed by Taiyang, Yang caught on, and to say she was mad was an understatement, "That's it… After all this time you don't even bother to care! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Her iliac eyes turned bright red and flames seemed to be surrounding her while her hair flowed wildly.

Despite this, Raven ignored Yang, she didn't care how much her 'daughter' hated her, hell she didn't even think they would ever meet again but here they are, sitting next to each other with the idiot that somehow managed to woo her in the first place was awkwardly sitting behind them.

' _Maybe I should have left the Branwen chick in the wild because holy shit does she has family issues'_ Louise sighed inwardly before ellbowing Yang in her gut, she might have been little but she knows how to get around a fight or two… That and being an omnipotent being for a certain period of time gives you motivation to learn fighting… Neat

"Look, I know you're pissed at your mom because of all the dramatic family crap that's been going on, but you're going to resolve it a later time, last thing I need is those two buffoons to complain about their room being destroyed…" To seal the deal Louise gave a glare that could probably murder Salem herself if it had any potential to kill.

Yang reluctantly sat back down and settled to just glare at her 'mother' who once again just ignored her.

To say that the tension in the room was thick was the understatement of the century, it was so thick that a chainsaw couldn't cut through it. Or rather, it was, until someone cleared their throat, well, someone's looking for attention.

But suddenly, Qrow let out a shiver, as if someone had just told him that the bars he frequents the most are no longer willing to serve him. His eyes widen slightly, a bead of sweat sliding down the back of his neck, "I've felt this feeling before… Winter is coming." He said, his voice low and raspy, his eyes boring into the ground. You know, there's an innuendo in there somewhere.

Among the staff of Beacon, a woman stands up, her hair a stark white color, her eyes mimicking clear ice, her hair in a bun, turns out he was right, and now Winter is here. Out of nowhere, Weiss dashes towards her sister, "Winter!" She screamed excitedly, only to take a chop to the head when she got close, older siblings can be so rude.

"Calm yourself Weiss, can't you see that there are other people here?" She said sternly, her hands placed behind her back, but a nearly invisible smile sat upon her face.

With that, Louise begins clapping loudly, "Finally, now that everyone is aware of who's here, we can get this show on the road," With that, she snaps her fingers and a bright flash blinds the students and staff… and Raven.

Suddenly, they appear in a large room, it's about the size of a small movie theater, all of the students are seated in comfortable chairs, and the screen in front of them takes up the whole wall, it's a pretty big screen. And with a snap from Louise, the screen lights up, "And with that, my vacation begins!"

* * *

 **DX: Not gonna lie we could have finished this faster if we didn't get so distracted with JoJo memes most of the time, wouldn't you agree Syn?**

 **Syn: Huh, what? Sorry, I was looking at JoJo memes. But now that I think about it, we'd probably be done quicker if I hadn't been spamming the Dm's with memes, but who cares amirite, it's all about that meme life.**

 **DX: The sad part is, he's right… Anyways now that we're done with this prologue we can finally work on the reaction itself…! Tomorrow because I am tired! Expect some very cool stand action next chapter!**

 **Syn: STANDU POWAR! Anyways, you've been great San Francisco, Good Night! *Begins to walk behind stage***


	2. chapter 1

_**Jaune's Bizarre Realities**_

 _ **Universe 1: To Catch A Predator - Eromanga-sensei Abridged Short**_

* * *

 **It was just your ordinary day in an ordinary house, just a big brother cooking some dinner for his little sister! "Ah sweet, this salad's coming along nicely!" Our favorite blonde knight said happily, even though his food was currently on fire…**

"That's not how cooking even works!" Yelled Yang as a look of outrage made its way onto her that, all of the viewers look over to her with quirked brows, to

which she chuckles sheepishly, "Cooking is a thing I learned to do young, and seeing someone call that 'salad' good is just insane." She said, ah, that makes sense.

 **However, before he could finish making his dinner the doorbell rang, "KNOCK, KNOCK!" It should be pretty obvious who that is.**

" **Eh? Fuck, is it the cult of Ozpin again? I already paid for my membership- Hi! Oh. Why is this random kid at my door?" He asked the child in front of him, now he wasn't a pedo and he didn't really like children, so there should be no reason for some random little girl to just waltz in front of his house.**

" **Listen, I don't want your girl scout cookies, go away, please." He said in hopes of 'politely' letting her know she's not welcomed.**

"Well, it's rather rude to assume that she's selling cookies, she could be selling chocolates or something. One should keep an open mind." Ozpin said wisely as he sipped from his mug.

"You're just saying that because you want to know what they're selling." Said Ms. Goodwitch, it seems that this isn't the first time this has happened.

" **This 'random' kid has a name! And it's Ruby Rose!" The now proclaimed Ruby said in a rather prideful tone, despite the fact that Jaune could barely give a damn about a stranger invading his precious cooking time.**

" **Wait! I don't care. I'm kind of in the middle of cooking an exquisite dish so you know, fuck right off." He told Ruby, It was only fair that she received the most heartwarming 'get out' comment. Unfortunately it seems 'his exquisite dish is producing even more smoke than before.**

"Why is Jaune acting so mean, does he even know me in this universe?" Ruby asked no one in particular.

"What I want to know is why he left the stove on! Turn off the stove you idiot!" Yang yelled, still being mad about Jaune desecrating the sacred art of cooking.

 **In response to this she tilted herself to try and look at his cooking, Jaune tilted in the same direction to block her view "Hey! No peeping! Shouldn't you be at Signal or something?" Jaune asked, it wasn't everyday that you'd see a kid skip classes in Signal… Then again, it is the** _ **only**_ **school on Patch…**

" **Shouldn't your little sister Weiss be at school as well?" Ruby asked him as her retort.**

"I'm his what?!" Weiss exclaimed, she couldn't be related to that dunce! She was a Schnee and he was… not, and the idea of him being related to him in any way made her want to cease existing.

" **My glorious, Adorable (non-blood-related) little sister has no need for this school you speak of." He made sure to emphasize the non-blood-related part in the form of muttering.**

Weiss let out a sigh of relief as she heard they weren't related, but then, another thing clicked in her mind, "He's still infatuated with me?! Even after being siblings by law?!" She yelled out, to which most of the other viewers in the room chuckled.

" **She's beyond that! And I'm sure that RIGHT now she's busy doing more, important… thingies." Honestly, Jaune didn't know what Weiss did besides drawing Hentai, speaking of Weiss she's currently wrapped around her bed sheets searching something up.**

' **Okay to want to fuck my brother?' Was the question that she put in, however, her embarrassment got the better of her and she just sank further into her bedsheets.**

"I demand that someone place a bullet into the side of my head because I refuse to think that an alternate version of myself would reciprocate that dunces feelings!" She yelled out, and Pyrrha nearly seemed happy to oblige. _Nearly…_

Ren was just happy that most of them didn't know what hentai was, but Blake knew, oh Blake knew a lot about it. No, she was not an avid viewer of hentai.

" **Can you leave now?" Jaune really didn't have the time for this, his salad may be ruined if he doesn't hurry up!**

" **You're so rude! Doesn't my adorable appearance make your heart skip a beat? Make you fall head over heels and go, 'Oh baby I'm gon' make you feel good tonight!' And tear my clothes off in the heat of the moment and have your way with me?" To emphasize her point, Ruby blinked twice.**

" **Wahhhh?" Unfortunately Jaune didn't get the point so she immediately started blinking rapidly and made a frustrated groan as she kept doing it.**

Ozpin was having a really tough time watching this, not because it was just his students, but because he had seen this before, except it was between Summer and Taiyang… and they were actually legal when it happened. Except Tai didn't actually catch onto the hints that Summer dropped and ended up with Raven, what a fool.

Qrow was having an even worse time considering that he lived in the _same room_ as both of his best friends, and to see history repeat itself, well, he was having flashbacks.

" **What kind of things have your parents been teaching you?" Jaune was genuinely curious in what kind of household this Ruby Rose lived in, he knew for a fact that not many little girls had those types of… Fantasies.**

" **Hmm. Not much, my mom did teach me how to handle a good DICK! though." Her voice became shockingly manly as the d word came out of her mouth.**

"Excuse me what did her Mom teach her to do?!" Weiss yelled out, the very idea that someone would teach their child to do such a disturbing thing at such a young age shocked her.

"I swear she didn't, I've never even seen one!" Ruby yelled in her defense, she was not enjoying this universe so far. Although, the thought of her and Jaune… no, it is forbidden, Pyrrha wanted him first. However, if she ever failed then he was up for grabs.

Taiyang and Qrow were staring at the screen, both of their brains dead, why? Well when you find out your wife/best friend teaches your daughter/niece how to blow someone, it tends to fuck up your brain.

Yang had a mini heart attack and promptly fainted before being slapped awake by Nora, Nora refused to let Yang faint when her reactions were so priceless.

" **Oh well that seems pretty normal- Wait, did you just say what I think you just said?" His mind was not ready for today.**

" **Yep! I'm all about the COCK!" Suffice to say Jaune's mind didn't take it quite well.**

" **Ooo! Have same class woman!" Jaune really didn't want to deal with this girl anymore, but she was just too stubborn to leave so he had to play along with it… For now.**

" **Come on! Don't be a prude! All girls my age love a bit of Dangalang." her voice became deep** _ **and**_ **manly this time.**

"He's not being a prude child, he's being an upstanding citizen of the law!" Winter yelled out as she looked to Ruby.

"I'm sorry!" Ruby yelled out, tears threatening to burst out of her eyes.

" **How old are you anyway?" Jaune asked in disbelief.**

" **I'm five!" She answered happily.**

" **Don't you dare fucking lie to me." He narrowed his eyes at the silver eyed pervert.**

" **Plus seven!" She answered again.**

" **What kind of cryptic bullshit is- Wait so five plus seven equals one, two, three… How do you count to twelve again?" As soon as his brain recognized his words he let out an audible gasp. She was certainly not legal at all! Alarms were going off inside his head, and what's worse, is that a giant fire was spreading inside his house due to the burning food.**

"Oh, now he gets it?!" Ren yelled out, now Ren is not the kind of individual to yell, everyone knows that, but this was just getting out of hand.

 **The scene then cut to someone's living room, probably Neptune, how do I know? Well he's the only one there on his computer nodding dumbly as he kept watching Jaune's weird escapades with little girls.**

"Neptune?!" Weiss yelled out, why was he watching such… such disturbing content on his laptop?! Wait… is that why he wanted to know Weiss in the first place? Weiss's mind was shutting down, she needed a moment to herself.

" **Neptune what the fuck are you watching?" As soon as Sun's words reached his ears Neptune shut his computer and stood up to face him.**

" **Nothing, I swear!" To say he was panicking was an understatement.**

" **Woah!" Sun immediately recoiled back as he managed to get a glimpse of the show Neptune was watching.**

" **Bro, why are you watching Eromanga Sensei? You do know she's twelve, right?" Sun made sure to keep his distance from Neptune, he sure as hell didn't want to be near him in his current state.**

To that, everyone looked to Ren in confusion, to which he just looked back, "What, is there something on my face?" He asked, equally confused.

"Uh, Renny, what does Eromanga mean?" Nora asked kindly, she didn't know as much Eastern Mistrali as Ren did.

With that, Ren let's out an 'oh', "To put it lightly, Eromanga is just erotic comic books made in Eastern Mistral as a form entertainment, and to say Sensei means teacher or instructor, so put two and two together. However, you should not confuse Eromanga with Doujinshi, they are two separate things." He said calmly. Don't look up Doujinshi kids.

Quickly, everyone's face either turned to that of disgust or interest, and Blake was having trouble disguising her interest.

" **Well she's not real so it's not that bad! Right?" Neptune tried to defend himself, but his results were rather poor.**

"Not real?! What is that supposed to mean?!" Weiss yelled out, what does he mean by not real?

"Perhaps you are only known in that universe for being part of a cartoon?" Professor Ozpin hypothesized, unknowingly triggering thousands.

"They are not cartoons, it's called anime!" Ren yelled out angrily, only to quickly place his hand against his mouth, it had just happened instinctually.

And now everyone was staring at Ren, not in confusion, but just in curiosity. Ren simply lets out a sigh, "It comes from my home Kingdom, of course I'm going to know what it is." Ren said, defending himself. Pyrrha simply nodded along with him, she herself was given the position to voice in an anime, of course, she said no since she had no idea how to voice act, but she knew what anime was.

" **You know she's twelve right?" He repeated his question once again.**

" **Nothing bad's gonna happen!" He tried to calm his monkey faunus compatriot.**

" **You won't say that once the police come, then bad things will start happening bro!" Sun tried to warn Neptune from his impending doom.**

" **Pssh, the police aren't going to come here!" It was painfully obvious he was in denial.**

 **As soon as he finished his sentence someone started to knock on his door, Sun took this cue to get the fuck outta there.**

"Bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do?" Yang sang out, this scene reminded her so much of those shows that her Dad had watched when she was younger, what was it called. Oh, Officers!

To which her Dad sang, "What you gonna do when they come for you?" He may be older than he used to be, but damn did he love Officers... the show.

" **Um, who is it?" Neptune nervously asked.**

" **Who ordered a pizza?" The voice was rather enthusiastic but Neptune didn't catch on to it.**

"Oh, it's just pizza." Ruby said calmly, or is it?

 **Neptune casually opened the door, only to see Ren in his porch holding some pizza boxes… And he had sunglasses on.**

" **With a side of justice, VALE MI5! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!" Ren declared loudly, after a few seconds of silence, Neptune bolted away as fast as he could with Ren following on hot pursuit, chaos then ensued.**

"I knew you should have been an officer, Renny, it was in my dreams from when we were thirteen, remember?!" Nora yelled into Ren's ear, but he didn't seem all that fazed by it.

Ren simply sighed as he shook his head, "I have a feeling that Nora's dreams are just visions of different realities, and that scares me." He said to himself, I mean, it can't be that bad… can it?

With that, the screen turned off, the viewing was over. Now, all that remained was an awkward silence, because no one really knew what to think. Weiss was… confused to say the least, Yang and her father were shocked to hear Ruby saying those… obscene things, Qrow had found it amusing since he knew Ruby wouldn't say such things, at least, not until she was older.

With that, Louise was left to her boredom once more, until a lightbulb went off in her head, her colleagues wouldn't be back for a while, so she had some time to kill, "You guys wanna see some more?" She asked with a smirk.

* * *

 **AN (DX):** _ ***GASP* This isn't the JoJo chapter you promised us! You lying piece of trash!**_ **Yes, I know that it isn't the JoJo chapter but we have a reason for it.**

 **Unfortunately when we started working on the JoJo chapter we got too excited and the more we wrote the more we figured out we bit more that we could chew for our first chapter, then again we did decide to write four episodes of it so it isn't that hard to understand why we were taking so long to release a single chapter.**

 **Anyway, we'll push the JoJo chapter to be the tenth one, for now we're doing part 3 but I'm considering doing a part 2 omake for a certain someone that replaces old Joseph in the JoJo universe and there's also part 6...**

 **Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and the other ones we'll release soon.**

 **Syn: Later!**


	3. Chapter 2

_**Jaune's Bizarre Realities**_

 _ **Re:Zero abridged short - I love…**_

* * *

With the snap of her fingers, Louise quickly switched the "channel" and it brought them to one that she knew would not work out well.

" **Pyrrha, do you know how awesome you are?" Jaune Arc looked out into what seemed to be a medieval version of Remnant, behind him was Pyrrha who was dressed in a maid outfit.**

For a moment, Pyrrha had felt a warm feeling in her chest, being praised by Jaune was always a treat for her. Although, why was she dressed as a maid? She shrugged her shoulder, " _I suppose it doesn't really matter, as long as there is a universe where I can be with Jaune."_ She thought to herself.

Everyone else felt rather happy for Pyrrha, she _was_ the one who wanted to be with Jaune since the very beginning, as for why, none of them really knew, but hey, love works in mysterious ways.

" **Oh please, Jaune darling' you flatter me." she replied with an obvious blush on her face.**

" **Like, uh, you're amazing… Cute AND amazing!" It was obvious that he was running out of compliments fast.**

The smile that was on Yang's face quickly fell after realizing what was going on, she knew far too well as for what was happening. She had dealt with a couple of the same cases herself.

" **Uh huh…" She wanted to hear more obviously.**

Pyrrha sat, leaning forward as far as she could before falling over, but was quickly chopped on the head by Nora, "Stop fishing for compliments Pyrrha, it makes you look desperate." Nora advised, and she was right, it really made Pyrrha look thirsty for that Arc "bloodline", if you catch my meaning.

" **Like, uh… You da man! Ah shit what else…" Jaune muttered to himself as he tried to think up with more compliments for Pyrrha.**

" **Oh please Jaune, praise me some more. Seriously, I'm like a fucking faucet down there right now!" Pyrrha's eyes became considerably smaller as she exclaimed those words.**

Most of the faces in the room cringed at such bold lewdities coming out of Pyrrha's mouth, except for Blake's, she seen scenes like this in her, ahem, adult books.

Ruby then turned to Pyrrha with a quirked brow, "Being complimented does that to you? I don't think that's ever happened to anyone in the history of… well ever!" Ruby yelled out, and most of the room agreed with her.

Pyrrha at least had the decency to look embarrassed, but she was honestly basking in the compliments that the Jaune on screen was giving her, damn, she is thirsty.

" **Okay, listen Pyrrha, we need to talk." Jaune was already uncomfortable as it is so he'd rather get this over with as soon as possible.**

" **Oh, is it about our future together, Jaune darling? I've been thinking about it a lot myself. We would have two children together, one boy, one girl of course! And we'd name them Pyrrha and Jaune Jr. And if it comes out retarded, we can just call it Weiss." She kept listing off things that made Jaune cringe the more he heard, but he steeled himself and managed to get Pyrrha's attention.**

"Okay, what the fuck!" Weiss yelled out, only to instantly cover her mouth, she had never sworn in front of polite company or that loudly.

Everyone then turned to Weiss, their reactions varying, Yang, Tai, and Qrow all thought it was hilarious as they were all on the floor laughing.

The teachers along with Raven found it amusing, but didn't show it openly.

But the rest of the students and Winter were all shocked, mostly Ruby was shocked though, "Weiss, swear!" She yelled out, and magically pulled out a glass jar.

All laughing stopped when the jar came out, and the three who found themselves on the floor had their blood drain from their faces, the swear jar… The money drainer had appeared.

Weiss let out a sigh as she threw a lien into the jar, money was of no concern to her. However, for everyone else in the room, including Winter, envied that lack of concern, they all had to work for their cash after all.

Pyrrha let an awkward chuckle as she saw the Xiao-Long-Rose family glare at the jar with pure hatred, "L-let's just move on with the viewing." She said, she was still _very_ interested in what her other self was going to do next.

" **Alright, I'm gonna try and let you down easy." Jaune said, unfortunately Pyrrha took it the wrong way.**

" **Aww, alright then. Just one child will do-"**

" **I don't love you." He cut off Pyrrha's train of thoughts.**

The sound of a glass shattering echoed throughout the room, and a disappointed 'aww' escaped Louise, "And that was my favorite glass." She said as she stared at the glass shards beneath her.

Meanwhile, Pyrrha was having a meltdown, " _W-well, I suppose that's fair, I-I mean, why would anyone ever want to be with me?! There would be far too much baggage for anyone to h-handle! I suppose being a celebrity I-Isn't enough for some individuals."_ She thought to herself, trying to find a reason why Jaune wouldn't like her.

All the other girls in the room felt bad for Pyrrha, after all, she had liked Jaune since very early in the year, it would only make sense that she would experience a breakdown.

" **Oh, really?" the atmosphere became cold, very cold and Pyrrha's gaze wasn't helping the blonde either.**

" **I think you're an awesome person, I really do! I… Just don't feel that way about you." Pyrrha adorned a sweet smile on her face, something that unnerved the Arc greatly.**

Everyone in the room flinched at those words, "Yikes, that rough kid." Qrow said as he took a swig from his flask, only to be punched in the back of the head by _loving sister_.

"You fool, have you no tact, this is not the time for you to be an idiot." Raven said callously as she glared at her younger brother.

Qrow rubbed the back of his head, "Like you're one to talk about not having tact." He grumbled as he rubbed his wound.

" **It's** _ **absolutely**_ **fine. You're free to like anybody you please, Jaune dar- I mean Jaune, It's not like I showered you with affection, made you breakfast every day, and kissed you good night when you were sleeping-"**

" **Wait, when the hell did you sneak into my room?" Jaune immediately asked.**

" **An irrelevant question." she quickly shot back.**

Tai quirked a brow at that little dodge, "No no, I think this is actually a pretty relevant question. Why would you sneak into his-, sorry, I forgot the version of Pyrrha Nikos we're watching is bat shit insane." Tai had said, he had experience with dealing with crazy women. Granted, they were pregnant at the time, but they were still bat shit insane.

" **S-So, who is this lucky girl stealing my** _ **precious Jaune**_ **away from me?" Pyrrha asked and Jaune tried his best to answer.**

" **Well…" Before he could answer Pyrrha beat him to it.**

" **She must be a beautiful maiden with quite a name to herself. Must be from the richest family in Remnant right? Maybe a heiress, white hair? Or maybe not even her! Maybe, it could be one of the Huntresses in training-"**

" **It's Ren." Her smile went into a face of shock and if you were to focus your hearing, you could hear the sound of death approaching.**

For a moment, the room was dead silent, and it seemed that the universe in front of them was frozen.

Well, it _was_ quiet, until Nora started snickering to herself. Everyone had their eyes freakishly wide, they just couldn't believe that Nora found this funny. "What is wrong with you? Have you no empathy?" Asked Winter angrily, she didn't understand what it was like to have that happen to her, but to see someone else find it amusing was really grinding her gears.

Nora waved off Winter's anger as she chuckled, "It's just… I never noticed how girly Ren looks." She said as she laughed to herself.

Ren looked to his childhood friend with eyes wide, "I don't look girly! I am a man dammit!" Ren yelled, ever since he was a child he had been seen as a feminine person, despite the fact that he did masculine things, like fighting for a living.

Yang then chuckled, seeing an opportunity to tease, "I don't know about that Ren, your hair and facial structure sure does make you seem girly. And your symbol doesn't help it." She said teasingly

"What's wrong with my symbol? It's perfectly masculine." Ren said in his defense, a lily pad is a perfectly masculine thing.

To that, Yang deadpanned, "Dude, it's a flower." She said calmly.

For a moment, there was silence. Ren was not having a good time right now, that was safe to say. However, Pyrrha was having an even worse time, hearing that her leader was in love with the _only other male on their team!_

Pyrrha glared at Ren, "Ren, I want you to know something." Pyrrha said quietly.

He quirked his brow slightly, "Okay, what is it?" He asked.

"When we get back to Beacon, you are going to be more masculine or so help me God I will personally tear out your hair." Pyrrha said, her voice sounding surprisingly calm, but the message she gave off was anything but calm.

 **The scene quickly transitioned to a forest with the sun setting, Jaune was running for dear life as Pyrrha chased him down.**

" **COME ON PYRRHA, CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT THIS!? FOR THE LOVE OF-AAAAAAAAAAH!" As a result for trying to calm down Pyrrha, he lost his right leg.**

All of the students cringed at the sight of their friend losing their leg, and Pyrrha was on the verge of collapse.

"I-I would never do that, even if Jaune had fallen in love with Ren." She muttered to herself as she brought her knees up to her chest.

Qrow simply brought his flask up to his lips, and took a quick swig, "Damn, that is fucked."

Ruby wanted to crack out the swear jar, but even she knew now wasn't a good time.

" **You know, Jaune Darling, I would have been moderately fine if it was any other woman. Weiss, Ruby, Yang. But Ren. I didn't think you had those sort of… desires." Pyrrha said as she threw the knife she used to cut Jaune's right leg off.**

" **BUT YOU SAID I COULD LOVE ANYONE I WANTED- AAAAAAAH!" Jaune let another blood curdling scream as Pyrrha proceeded to cut of his other leg with her morning star.**

" **I was under the impression it was another woman, not someone dressed like one." Jaune's blood was all over Pyrrha's face and hair, not that she cared anyway, but it did help her look terrifying, Jaune let out a nervous chuckle as he started talking again.**

"Hey now, the hole's the goal, you shouldn't judge people because they're going after a hole that isn't yours, or even the same gender as yours." Taiyang said calmly.

To that, Qrow, along with Ozpin, Glynda and Raven had deadpan expressions on their faces. "Only you would talk about the hole being the goal." Raven said in disgust.

Taiyang quirked a brow in confusion, "Wait what, why are you so mad at me all of a sudden?" He asked heatedly.

Raven simply clicked her teeth, "The only person that you haven't fucked that were on team STRQ, and you talking about the hole being the goal does not make you sound in a positive light." Raven stated.

" **I try to look past what's between the legs, it's the inside that counts, am I r-AAAAHHHHHH!' Pyrrha once again attacked the blonde with her morning star as she began screaming at him.**

"Alright, now people can like what they want to like, but me? I'm a straight male, thank you very much." Taiyang stated, to which Qrow wiped an imaginary droplet of sweat off of his forehead.

" **HE HAS A DICK, JAUNE! I WILL NOT LET MY LOVE BE BEATEN JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO FULFILL YOUR SICK FANTASIES!" Pyrrha screamed at the Arc who was in tears.**

" **BUT CAT BOYS, PYRRHA! CAT BOOOOOYS!" He cried out.**

"Wait a second, Cat boys?" Blake asked calmly, did Jaune have a thing for Cat faunus? Or faunus in general?

Hearing Blake's question, Ren sighed, "Yes Blake, Cat boys." Ren said, slowly losing his faith in all intelligent life.

Nora nudged him with her elbow, "You wanna t-" she was quickly interrupted by Ren raising his hand.

"No Nora, I don't want to talk about how my only _male friend wants my alternate self who just so happens to be a cat faunus._ " Ren said, with heavy emphasis on his issues on the current topic.

To that, Nora shrugged, "Alright Renny, if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine." She said calmly, it was almost as if she was acting out of character to keep Ren from losing his sanity. No, that doesn't seem possible.

" **But it does not matter, If you want to have your pleasure in…** _ **that**_ **way, I can help you in that department instead." She raised her weapon as she stared Jaune straight in the eye.**

" **Bend over." she ordered, and with those words uttered the screen went black as to not show the cruel fate of Jaune Arc.**

Everyone in the room either blushed from the thought, or had blood drain from their skin in horror as for what they heard, and Pyrrha's? She felt awful as a human being.

Qrow raised his flask to his lips, only to have it swiped from his hand by Glynda. She took a deep swig from it and handed it back to him. "I'm sorry, but just can't watch this without something to numb it." She said.

Then a strange field began to form around the flask, and flew directly towards Pyrrha's hand. She raised the flask to her lips and began to chug, the only thing in her mind was the wish to forget what she saw.

Qrow just let out a sigh, " _I'm not getting that back, am I?"_ He thought to himself, but he already knew the answer.

" **Pyrrha- Pyrrha? Nononono- What are you doing? No! Not there not there not there- I don't- WHYAREN'TYOUEVENLUBINGITUPOHMYGOD- AAAAAHHH!" A horrible squelching noise was heard, what happened to Jaune Arc would remain a mystery for the pure hearted ones and for those who understood, they would have to live with the mental curse...**

There was an uneasy air in the room, no one knew what to say about what they just heard and saw. The headmaster amongst them was having a tough time himself, "I had prayed that I would have been able to make sure that none of you would go through something so terrible. I'm afraid that this is simply how awful the world can be." Ozpin had said as he sipped from his mug sadly.

Louise simply let out a sigh, "I'm sorry that you guys had to see your friend go through that, but once the universe starts, we have to go through it 'till the end." She said calmly.

Pyrrha's sat there as she looked at the dark screen, "I… I think I'm going to take a short nap." She said calmly.

Louise nodded her head, "C'mon, I'll show you to the guest room." She said as she got out of her chair and led Pyrrha out of the room.

Qrow eyes widened suddenly, "She's still got my flask!" He yelled as he quickly jumped out of his seat and made chase.

Ozpin simply let out a hollow chuckle as he saw his old friend chase after his flask, "I suppose we wait for them to return." He said as he sipped from his mug, alright, why does he sip from his mug whenever he talks? That's getting kind of annoying.

With that, both students and adults alike sat in silence, waiting for the Dimensional Guardian to return.

* * *

 **AN (DX) : And just like that we traumatized a red head and made everyone else hear what's essentially the reverse r word, next chapter will be a little bit of a special case since Syndrome is basically the one who is uh… I guess leading me for the next chapter, anyway all you have to know is that Syndrome is very acquainted with the series.**

 **So uh, see you all next time!**

 **Syn: They're moving into attack formation! Shields up!**


End file.
